Dear Cupid,
Y'know as much of a joke you may think my love life is...I don't know if I see it quite the same as you. I would like to clarify a few issues...or present some concerns as they concern my physical and emotional well being. I would appreciate if you took this into consideration when striking men with your stupid arrows.
As much as I may be adorable and huggable...I don't really appreciate the experience of feeling like a small puppy or otherwise miniscule entrapped mammal being squeezed by an overenthusiastic child. Hugs are great, but when I start feeling like a caged animal with no chance of escape, they're not so great anymore.
I understand that I'm adorable, irresistible, beautiful, all that good stuff. But it really doesn't help my ego to be told that by men continually...and y'know..I can only take so many times of being called cute in a two hour time frame. As 'cute' as I may be, I am NOT a toy poodle, nor do I like to be treated like one. Please, no baby voice.
Marriage proposals are just out of the question. Don't even go there. Don't say any word that starts with 'm' to me! I will tune you out and possibly do physical damage to anyone in the vicinity. That word is for when you're actually dating someone, I know, crazy right?
Dancing is great, and dancing with men is great...but there IS a time and a place and there are some dance moves that should NEVER see the light of day. Namely 'shaking your booty'...at a public event. Save that for the honeymoon buddy.
And if all else fails and you can't think of anything to say cause you're just in so much awe of my awesomeness...then just don't say anything at all. It's better that way. As thumper's mother would say "If you can't say anything not awkward, don't say anything at all."
--
I hope this will be the last I see of your arrows cupid, love, with all my heart,
Elizabeth Korman
Y'know as much of a joke you may think my love life is...I don't know if I see it quite the same as you. I would like to clarify a few issues...or present some concerns as they concern my physical and emotional well being. I would appreciate if you took this into consideration when striking men with your stupid arrows.
As much as I may be adorable and huggable...I don't really appreciate the experience of feeling like a small puppy or otherwise miniscule entrapped mammal being squeezed by an overenthusiastic child. Hugs are great, but when I start feeling like a caged animal with no chance of escape, they're not so great anymore.
I understand that I'm adorable, irresistible, beautiful, all that good stuff. But it really doesn't help my ego to be told that by men continually...and y'know..I can only take so many times of being called cute in a two hour time frame. As 'cute' as I may be, I am NOT a toy poodle, nor do I like to be treated like one. Please, no baby voice.
Marriage proposals are just out of the question. Don't even go there. Don't say any word that starts with 'm' to me! I will tune you out and possibly do physical damage to anyone in the vicinity. That word is for when you're actually dating someone, I know, crazy right?
Dancing is great, and dancing with men is great...but there IS a time and a place and there are some dance moves that should NEVER see the light of day. Namely 'shaking your booty'...at a public event. Save that for the honeymoon buddy.
And if all else fails and you can't think of anything to say cause you're just in so much awe of my awesomeness...then just don't say anything at all. It's better that way. As thumper's mother would say "If you can't say anything not awkward, don't say anything at all."
--
I hope this will be the last I see of your arrows cupid, love, with all my heart,
Elizabeth Korman
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